The Best Weakness

We all excel in different areas, and we’re each particularly awful in others. I happen to be really bad at committing to anything that doesn’t feel 100% right.

I strongly encourage you to be terrible at it, too.

I used to think it was a weakness, and so did my parents (I’m sure other millennials can relate).

This “weakness” led to a very small pool of long-term career options, being almost impolite at times (saying a simple “No thanks” to things without understanding why I couldn’t just suck it up), and cutting out activities that on, some levels, I actually really liked.

I didn’t realize this weakness was actually a powerful tool until it became an ongoing joke in my marriage.

My apologetically politically incorrect husband said to me one day, years ago: “You have a really great disability, and it keeps your life on the right track.” Whenever this characteristic of mine would make an appearance, he would point it out. Always.

And this constant recognition made me increasingly proud to own this quality.

I’m no different than anyone else, except that when my gut says something, I listen and act accordingly, every time. If I don’t, I can’t sleep for weeks, or I break out in hives, or trip on the last stair and nearly twist an ankle.

Essentially, I’m just ‘off.’ Really off. To the point that things feel basically wrong until I detect the problem and correct it.

Yes, it makes me feel like an outsider at times, but it also keeps me at my happiest.

I hate playing sports and refuse with a simple “No thanks” (apparently I can’t stomach the competitiveness of sports because I’d rather see people at their kindest). I was the worst girlfriend in the world, breaking up with guys over a quick chat for no good reason (but my gut had a good reason). I knew instantly that my future was in teaching when I counted down the seconds of every other internship or temporary job situation. I get incredibly stressed out when I accumulate material things, so as a result, my life and responsibilities are much more manageable than the average person. I gave up watching TV because it never put me in a better mood, yet my more educational interests always left me inspired.

Everyone has this “disability,” it just needs to be acknowledged more frequently in order to become more powerful. If a job doesn’t feel right, don’t sign that contract to start full-time work for them. If you’re not sure you’re in love, don’t agree to move in with her. If that reality show leaves you feeling like you wasted precious time and caused your mood to plummet, watch an inspiring TED talk instead.

Every time you ignore your gut, you move further down a path that takes you away from true happiness, and it becomes increasingly harder to get back to where you felt “right.”

But if you decide to tune in to your true instincts, and listen to what the real you is quietly saying, you may just find yourself in the best situation of your life. The same way that the puzzle pieces of a chaotic existence can wreak havoc on your soul, the puzzle pieces of an intentional life can make every day feel 100% right and meaningful.

So try tuning out of the world and into yourself for a change, and let the pieces fall into place.